Power Relation in Marriage

Families are vital for society and each individual. Inside this family association, there are innumerable opportunities to have good moments together, and create pleasant memories. There are also many challenges and some of these can be avoided if we have the right perspective. We can ask from any parent, or spouse if they had a moment of power struggle, and most will probably say they had.  Control, hierarchy, and power relations are crucial to help a family know how to deal with problems. 

“In healthy, well-functioning families, there is a clear hierarchy between parents and children. Parents are the “executive committee” and the “board of directors” of a family. As with any other leadership position, parents should not be harsh, domineering, or dictatorial, but they are the leaders of the family, and the children need to follow that leadership”.(Miller, 2008)

In order to make a power relations harmony work in families, couples relationship should be of partnership. Some principles will guide us into this direction:

• Husbands and wives are equal.
• Husbands and wives have different responsibilities, but they function as equals.
• A husband’s role as patriarch gives him the responsibility to serve his wife and family.
• Husbands and wives work together as partners.

• What the world thinks

In the world today both man and woman are being flooded with the idea of being “the boss”. This approach will not help our families union, but repel each other. To handle challenges with unity and love, couples need to have respect and know that power means that we are to serve and love one another, instead of bossing around. There are traditions that teaches girls to submit themselves when they marry, and I remember I was given this idea too. Unfortunately boys are also taught they are to dominate not only girls, but any person that is below or different of them in someway.

• What Jesus teaches

But Jesus Christ taught: “but whosoever will be great among you, let him be your minister; And whosoever will be chief among you, let him be your servant: Even as the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many (Matthew 20:25–28).”

It’s a joy to have a husband that understands his role and my role in the family, respects me, and talks to me so we can make decisions together. We are now teaching our children to control their ego, or natural man that makes us want to exercise dominion on others. Instead, we are teaching them to respect, serve, and  love one another because love doesn’t desire to control others. The harmony in our family is visible when we treat each other and our children with respect and love. I really feel we are one because of the way we approach power relation in our family.

References:

Miller, R. B. (2008). Who is the boss? Power relationships in families. BYU Conference on Family Life.  Provo, UT.