Preserving your Marriage and Family

I am starting this blog to talk about Marriage and family, and I hope that I can offer some practical ideas to encourage us to continue this journey collecting great memories.

To start, I would like you to think about the importance of family for people, and the impacts of a good family to our society.

When we hear that families are the foundation of society, this is certainly a fact not an opinion. In the research of Paul R. Amato (2005) "The Impact of Family Formation Change on the Cognitive, Social, and Emotional Well-Being of the Next Generation", assess a variety of research based on marriage and families with the purpose to inform the debate about the differences of cognitive, social, and well-being of children living with one biological parent, compared with children living with two biological parents, and other questions. This research concludes that children living with two married parents are less likely to experience cognitive, emotional, and social problems in childhood, and even adulthood. (1)

In addition, according to Dr. Stanley, author of “The Millionaire Mind”, there is a correlation between stable marriages and wealth accumulation, which is better for the economy than divorces. “In essence, why are millionaires millionaires? Because they made the right decisions concerning several major issues in their life, and one of these is the choice of spouse”. (Stanley, 2000)

Even though there are many reasons we should get married and have a family, there are also many challenges around us to interpose and destroy it. I would like to present some tips to help us achieve and preserve strong marriages and family:

• Choosing your wife|husband - "If you wish to marry well, inquire well" (Oaks, 2007). If you want to choose the right person, you have to define the person you would like to have by your side. Not in too much detail, but have an idea, and then you choose the places this person would attend. This will increase the chances for you to find the person you would like. After that, find opportunities to know the behavior of the person you are dating, and learn everything you can about the family, job, and etc. before marriage.

• Spending good time together after marriage- Going out constantly as couples is crucial to maintain your relationship. Go in weekly dates to a place where both feel comfortable to talk, or do something you enjoy together. Reserve a time every day to each other, at night for example and away from cell phones, to listen to each other and connect.

• Family time  - It’s important to parents and children to have time to relax together. Especially in the day-to-day chores and responsibilities of life, we can create and enjoy great moments as family if we schedule weekly activities. I recommend to reserve two times in the week. In one moment for a casual talking where parents have the opportunity to pass their values to children, and children can comfortably talk about what they want with their family. And other day in the week when the family can have wholesome recreational activities to have fun together, which can be decided together in the first family time.

• Family finances- Some issues in family appear because of financial problems. It's wise to study together, as couples and family, the best strategies to use money. Using budget, saving and investing money, making short-term and long-term financial goals, and spending less than we earn are some tips than can preserve marriages and families be preserved among the challenges today. "Financial peace of mind is not determined by how much we make, but is dependent upon how much we spend!”(Ashton, 1975)

I am still not an experienced professional in this area, and have no perfect family, but I have seen the impact that choosing a spouse, building family relationships, and working together in families and marriages. I have created wonderful memories in this journey, from the start when I chose my husband to spend this life together. We are learning together to strengthen our family, and living incredible experiences along the way. No research or statistic could describe the happiness I enjoy from having a family; all the effort to make it happen is worth it!

References:

1. Amato, Paul R. (2005). Retrieved from The impact of family formation change on the cognitive, social, and emotional well-being of the next generation.

2. Stanley, Thomas J. (2000). The millionaire mind. Kansas City, MO: Andrews McMeel Pub.

3. Oaks, D. H (2007, May) Divorce. Ensign.

4.Thompson, P. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://www.thompsonlaw.ca/assets/millionaire-couples--the-unmistakable-link-between-marriage-and-wealth-creation.pdf

5. Ashton, M.J. (1992) One for the money. Retrieved from https://store.lds.org/wcsimages/LDSCAS/products/000/2800_33293000_o06.pdf